Soo Let’s Talk About the Weirdest Day of My Life

Yesterday. It was yesterday.

It began like most of my mornings begin. My alarm went off at 7, and I snoozed for two hours and finally sludged out of bed at 9, hating myself because I only had 4 hours to cram for my A&P final when I really needed 6. I took my morning pills, drank 3 cups of coffee, and tried to jam every last bit of information regarding the regions of the brain and internal anatomy of the spinal cord. Dura Mater, Arachnoid Mater, Pia Mater. Yessss I still remember.

Then I made the hour drive to community college and blared the same music I’ve been singing at the top of my lungs on that drive. The Biebs, Gaga, Edward Sharp…you know. I took my test and think I did reasonably well. Which means I got anywhere from an F to an A. Then I made the hour drive back to my parents, blaring the music again and singing really loud.

When I got home I thought, maybe I’ll check on the ol’ blog and see how it’s doing. (Imagine me saying that like an old mid-western man.) I was beyond stunned when I saw that it had 60,000 hits. Beyond. I yelled and my mom came out to see about the ruckus. Then she said “I’ve read about this, I think it’s called ‘going viral.’ ” Then we all had a laugh because the thought of 60,000 people reading a silly observational post I made was just too much.

Then I watched it all unfold literally before my eyes, reading some of the funniest/weirdest comments I’d ever seen. What I could gather by 5:00 is “HOW COULD I FORGET TO PUT UP DUCKFACE” and that somehow this became a conversation about race, which really surprised me. If I would have known putting “white girl” in the title would cause such an upheaval, I would have left it out. Like Oprah says, When ya know better, ya do better. It’s just that my writing–but more importantly my humor– comes from a very real place. And everyday, I scroll through my homepage, and am bombarded with pictures of mostly white girls doing the things on that list. So that’s why I titled it what I did. Simply because that is my experience. What I can gather from the comments now though, is that these are trends from EVERY girl on Facebook, and even some boys too. So there you have it, we’re all idiots. So let’s all take a deep breath. In. And Out. Good.

The rest of the night was like any other. My parents put on Bill O’Reilly at 7. I yelled at the TV and they told me to be quiet. My mom forgot Monty is lactose intolerant and fed him some cheese, so for the next three hours we were all bombarded by the worst gas you can imagine. Monty of course, was unphased. By 8 we checked the numbers and couldn’t believe them. All we could do was laugh out of shock. My step-dad said “The internet…is crazy…” What I loved most is that it made people laugh, and that was all it was meant to do. By 9 my mom was watching the movie “Message in a Bottle” and I was laughing at Kevin Costner looking so serious in a turtle neck. I tried to study for my A&P LAB final which is Monday, but felt brain-dead. So I watched Kevin Costner…in a turtle neck.

turtle neck.

My friend Emily called and said she was excited because now she had a friend that was  a D-list celebrity! Haha, thanks Em. More like Z list.  My friend Colby said “Write about a crippling illness, no one gives a shit. Write about Facebook, the world explodes.” Ain’t it the truth. Anyway, I couldn’t sleep so I read some more out of Marc Nepo’s book. And I’ll leave you all with the last thing I read.

“Those who truly love us will never knowingly ask us to be other than we are.”

Isn’t that beautiful? I thought so too.

Health, Happiness, and DUCKFACE.

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89 thoughts on “Soo Let’s Talk About the Weirdest Day of My Life

  1. I enjoyed the White Girls thing – but honestly, I enjoyed today’s post more. You are obviously a lovely person full of humour and grace, and your folks sound awesome. Congratulations on becoming a Z list celeb, I am still waiting for my 15 seconds of fame. (How the world just gets faster and faster, eh?)

    Have a look at my blog sometime. It’s way different to yours, but I hope you enjoy it. And I had a look at your poetry – heartfelt and interesting. As a fellow poet, I congratulate you and urge you to keep going!

    Cheers, hang in there, keep munching the pills – Yolly

  2. I found you through freshly pressed and would like to add a comment of support. I read the Facebook post and thought it was great (I’m a white girl, social justice freak, feminist, and appreciator of funny shit), and couldn’t understand all the race stuff. If you can’t make fun of white girls who can you make fun of???

  3. My best friend has fibro, Endo, and a few other super fun health problems that keep her in near constant pain. It is SO awesome that your story is getting out there by the means of going viral with the FB post. In a backwards kind of way you are raising awareness and that is truly the best part of this whole thing. Love the blog, and looking forward to what’s ahead for you.

  4. Mary, I’m so glad I found your blog via Freshly Pressed (congrats; I loved reading your reaction here!). You’re wonderful, positively amazing by just being you, and that’s about it :) Blessings!

  5. So…one of my friends posted your “15 things” on facebook,and I loved it. I sent the link around my office and everyone else loved it too. Then one of my coworkers posted it on facebook, which sparked a bunch of reposts. I’m thinking that this happened in offices near and far! That night, on her way home from work on the streetcar, my coworker actually saw someone reading it on his I-phone, and overheard people talking about it. You really hit the nail on the head, Mary. Just like with all your writing (but you’re right, the masses respond best to facebook related subject matter). I spent yesterday reading your entire blog, and I love it. Your writing is jealousy inducing, dude. So talented! Love the poetry (I sent one of your poems around too, so maybe THAT will go viral).

  6. ‘ “Write about a crippling illness, no one gives a shit. Write about Facebook, the world explodes.” ‘ – This comment made me laugh. Oh it made me laugh. It made me slightly bitter. I am a blog writer who writes about breast cancer, scientific discoveries, and health. Why can’t I get this kind of explosion? Ha, maybe I should say facebook causes cancer or something haha.

  7. Hi. Like thousands of others, I found your blog from “White Girls Facebook Post” that circulated accordingly on Facebook. Afterwards, I spent an hour so reading your other entries, and I can say I’m hooked. You’ve officially reserved a tab in my favorites!

  8. Loved the post. We white girls can be re-donk. I also love looking at random peoples wedding photos… though for some reason I never posted my professional ones. One of my dearest friends was also a gymnast and started facing similar health problems at a young age. Namely at this point, immune dysfunction. Strange. I agree that Mark Nepo is brilliant and lovely. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, ideas, poetry, and photos. Keep up the (interesting!) and great work.

  9. Dude. I have fibromyalgia and I never talk about it because people are all judgy and assholish about it, and then I stumble on this and I want to squeeze your cheeks for being funny and awesome. Good work.

  10. I have just spent a good hour looking through and reading your blog posts (sounds creepy huh?) You are such an inspiring and amusing person! I love it!
    Must add on a previous post you talked about looking at near strangers wedding pictures on facebook! I like a bit of good facebook stalking myself hehe

    X

  11. So, I’m a white girl. And I’ve done most of those things from your Dec. 4 post on my FB. And dammit, I’m proud of it. ;) I don’t consider it racist, or otherwise; merely a humorous observation of the retardness that is our generation (I’m 27, too so I can say crap about our generation, God love us). But now, you have me hooked. You’re an AWESOME writer with a great sense of humor. Very funny post and I hope you kicked some exam ass. Good luck in your journey; I am looking forward to more.

  12. Your writing is amazingly witty and descriptive and as you can see by the reaction to your blog post, making fun of yourself is something we all need to do! In this day of political correctness craziness, your blog is a breath of fresh air! keep it up girl!!! hopefully you’ll use your special powers for good not evil :)
    By the way- Hope you got an A on your exam!

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