1. When you look like shit he says “Hey! You look like shit!”
2. When you asked him to compare you to a celebrity, he said “Nancy Pelosi.”
3. He tells everyone “I’m in a relationshit.”
4. When you asked him if he loves you, he farted, and insisted that was a response.
5. You gave him the silent treatment for 6 days. He didn’t notice.
6. Whenever you tell a joke, he makes this face:
7. He says you look like your mother. He calls your mother a whore.
8. He gave you gonorrhea. You didn’t say thanks, but he said ‘You’re Welcome.’
9. He assigned you a Nickelback song for your ring tone.
10. Given the choice between a date with you and getting a colonoscopy, he chose the colonoscopy.
DISCLAIMER! *not about Gabe