1. The “You Spend Too Much Time With Your Friends and Not Enough Time With Me” Fight. It’s not that I hate your friends, I just think they’re stupid and don’t really want them around.
2. The “You’re Terrible With Money” Fight. Did we really need these $20,000 life-size Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots?
Yes, yes we did.
3. The “I’m Allowed to Talk Shit About My Family but YOU BETTER NOT” Fight. Excuse me, nobody calls my sister a slut but me.
4. The “You Drink Too Much/Smoke Too Much/Work Too Much/Play Video Games Too Much/Sleep Too Much” Fight. You do all the wrong stuff, too too much.
5. The “ANYTHING Regarding Facebook” Fight.
Who’s that slut who wrote on your wall?
Why haven’t you changed your relationship status?
Why aren’t I in your profile picture?
Why are you still friends with that person?
Why won’t your dad accept my friend request?
Who is Brittny and why did she poke you 2 years ago? Defriend her. NOW.
6. The “You’re Always Tired When It’s Time for Sex But Wide Awake When the Kardashians Come On” Fight. Come on, you know you love Scott.
7. The “You Give Terrible Presents” Fight. Awesome. Another candle. Thanks babe.
8. The Failure to Agree on a Show You Both Like So You End Up Watching Stuff Neither of You Really Likes Fight. Oh look, No Reservations is on again.
9. The “I Shouldn’t Have to Ask You To” Fight. Because you should be able to read my mind by now.
10. The “You Have Terrible Phone Etiquette” Fight. There’s this thing. Called a phone. Try it out…
11. The “If You Like It You Better Put a Ring On It” Fight. Because nothing sets the mood for an engagement like the threat of a breakup. Or physical harm.
Whoa Oh Oh Uh Oh Oh Oh
12. The “I Was Lying When I Told You I Didn’t Want Anything for My Birthday and You Should Have Known That” Fight. You could have at least gotten me a card. God.
13. The “You’re Nicer to the Dog Than You Are To Me” Fight. Well he’s a better listener!
Tell me. Everything.
14. The “I Went Through All Your Shit and Found Something That Makes Me Not Trust You Anymore” Fight. You never told me you ran track in high school.
15. The “If I Didn’t Pick Up After You, Our Apartment Would End Up on Hoarders” Fight. Why do you put your clothes next to the laundry hamper?
Health, Happiness, Coupledom