1. “I don’t care, I just think it’s funny.” I care. A lot. And it’s NOT funny.
2. “You’re like a big brother to me.” You’re nothing like a brother, you’re just someone I’ll never bang.
3. “I could never pull that outfit off.” You look like a slut.
4. “We need to hang out more often!” I’ll most likely see you in a year or two.
5. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” You’re dating an asshole.
6. “I’m not even that drunk!” Hammered .
7. “I need a girls night.” I have sex stories to tell.
8. “You can come if you want to.” I don’t really want you to come.
9. “Do you want to leave soon?” I am ready to leave now and don’t really care whether you are ready to or not.
10. “Who’s going to be there?” Your presence alone is not enough to get me to come.
11. “You’re going to make a woman really happy one day.” I find you zero percent attractive.
12. “Not to be rude but…” I’m about to be really, fucking, rude.
13. “I just want a nice guy.” I prefer criminals.
14. “Politically speaking, I’m a moderate.” I don’t follow politics enough to engage in a discussion, but I love Michelle Obama’s arms.
15. “I’m so tired of the drama.” I looooooove drama!
16. “Nothings wrong, I’m just tired.” Prepare. For. War.
Health, Happiness, GIRLS!
FibroM.E.-Awesome 
So much of this is true! Right on the spot!
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http://www.lyndainamillionlittlepieces.blogspot.com
i say stuff likr this too..women are confusing.. check out my blog for more like this.
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such a funny ( and true) post. thanks!
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SO. GOOD.
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Love this because it’s sooo true!
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So spot on… and then 16 usually leads to: “No I swear I’m fine” (I am the exact opposite of fine, most likely hellfire fury pissed, or even worse, on the verge of tears), which also leads to “You know what, I’m am over it” (I am most certainly not over it, and honestly I don’t want to see your face right now, but when I do decide that I can tolerate your presence you better be ready to make up for whatever just happened). Oh girls speak… it really should be another language!
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HILARIOUS! and so TRUE!
Especially the one about “Do you want to leave soon?” LOL I do that all the time whenever a place gets boring!
Great post :)
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Ha! I just shared this on my Facebook page.
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WOW Girl power!!!!! Love it!
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Great comments and oh, so true! Lol!
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I LOLed at about the being rude and the I LOOOVE the drama!!!!! Great! Not to be rude…..is a warning “Rude sh– about to be said”
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Maybe I’m different than most. But if I say something I mean it. It’s when I choose to not say anything THAT’S when I have a hidden motive.
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So true, except when you have CFS, that whole “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired” bit is usually true…though if you don’t take me home ASAP it might turn into war for no good reason, lol. I totally thought my ex was a keeper when she could differentiate between the “I’m bored,” “I’m really fucking tired,” and “my heart rate is roughly 160” looks within a matter of months and find me a chair, take me home, or liven up the party accordingly.
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Love it.
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Let’s hear it for Michele Obama’s arms!
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I love you. Platonically.
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I was trying to pick just one to comment on but there are too many good ones. Reminds me of the invention of lying – how would things be different if we just said our friends were dating assholes and we had sex stories to tell and we were pissed off? Hahaha.
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that was freaking hilarious. but i’m nice and i mean it. :-)
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this is completely true! i’m pretty sure i’ve said all of these things in the last two weeks
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Mary, you should write a BOOK on what girls really mean. This was SPOT ON, and made me laugh out loud. Hilarious.
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